True Secrets of Lesbian Desire Keeping Sex

Stendhal examines the "shadow" in lesbian relationships that descends when women bond so completely that the intimacy becomes a merging, obliterating the space between individuals where desire lies. Lesbian bed death, the topic of so many comediennes, is examined and reined in, no longer an inevitable result of a solid relationship.True Secrets of Lesbian Desirecasts an eye on the myths that burden us all.

Renate Stendhal is a coach and counselor for individuals and couples, with a private practice in Berkeley and San Francisco. She has published several books, including Sex and Other Sacred Games and the award-winning photobiography, Gertrude Stein in Words and Pictures.

Foreword

ix

Preface to the Second Edition

xi

I. A Woman Appeared

1

(17)

An Approach

1

(3)

``Whence Speakest Thou?''

4

(5)

Entering

9

(3)

Unspeakable Depth

12

(6)

II. The Thirty-Six Colors of Erotic Desire

18

(52)

Getting Down to It

18

(2)

Birds of a Feather

20

(3)

On Dangerous Ground

23

(3)

``Sex Is Magic''

26

(3)

I'd Rather Die than Tell Her

29

(3)

A Possibility

32

(3)

Clues from Childhood

35

(4)

The Coolest Game

39

(4)

Now What?

43

(4)

Back to Square One

47

(4)

The Helpmate

51

(4)

Polymorphously Perverse

55

(11)

Intimate Passion

66

(4)

III. Truth as Aphrodisiac

70

(9)

IV. True Confessions

79

(40)

The Icing on the Cake

79

(10)

Explorer in an Unknown Land

89

(4)

Why Have Sex?

93

(8)

``Mature Sex''

101

(6)

Selena's Secret

107

(3)

Unshaming the Body

110

(5)

An Erotic Practice

115

(4)

Books Mentioned in the Text

119

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True Secrets of Lesbian Desire Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relationships

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials