When Friendship Hurts How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"We've all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships.Finally there is help. InWhen Friendship Hurts,Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them -- or end them. In this straightforward, illuminating book filled with dozens of quizzes and real-life examples, Yager covers all the bases, including:The twenty-one types of negative friends -- a rogues' gallery featuring such familiar types as the Blood-sucker, the Fault-finder, the Promise Breaker, and the CopycatHow to recognize destructive friends as well as how to find ideal onesThe e-mail effect -- how electronic communication has changed friendships for both the better and the worseThe misuse of friendship at work -- how to deal with a co-worker's lies, deceit, or attempts at revengeHow to stop obsessing about a failed friendshipAnd much moreThe first highly prescriptive book to focus on the complexities of friendship,When Friendship Hurtsdemonstrates how, why, and when to let go of bad friends and how to develop the positive friendships that enrich our lives on every level. For everyone who has ever wondered about friends who betray, hurt, or reject them, this authoritative book provides invaluable insights and advice to resolve the problem once and for all.

Jan Yager, Ph.D., is a sociologist and the author of Friendshifts®: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives. Recognized as the number one expert on friendship in the country, she has been seen and heard on Oprah, The View, The O'Reilly Factor, and NPR, as well as on numerous other national television and radio programs. She lives in Fairfield County, Connecticut.

Contents

Introduction: When Friendship Turns Unfriendly

Part 1 Friendship: The Basics

1 What Is a Friend?

2 Detecting Harmful People Before They're Friends

Part 2 Why Do Friends Hurt Friends?

3 What's Really Going On?

4 It's All in the Family

Part 3 Coping

5 Can This Friendship Be Saved?

6 When and How to End It

Part 4 Business, Work, and Friends

7 Friendship at Work: Are the Rules Different?

Part 5 Breaking the Pattern

8 Finding Good Friends

9 Where to Go from Here

Notes

Selected Bibliography

Resources

Index

Reading Group Guide for When Friendship Hurts