When Your Spirit Animal Is a Sloth

About a year and a half ago I was on Facebook posting ridiculous things to try and make people laugh. It was a reaction to the moronic status updates people posted, such as, "Yum, that was good coffee". I found them about as useless and moronic a thing to update anybody on as I could imagine. Of course, few people responded to what I posted. So I began to look elsewhere to satisfy my need for feedback from people I pretty much never see or interact with. It didn't take long until I found that outlet. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, a paragraph in and no one is even reading this. So, I thought, why not add something more that no one would read?Twitter provided a wonderful realm where I could say all the weird crap that popped into my mind--and more importantly--have people respond favorably instead of in the typical ways of confusion, pity and disdain. Trust me, you get tired of disdain after a while. Then I began to forget some of the things I'd tweeted, and since Twitter does not provide an easy way to view all your tweets I decided to keep track of them myself. Well, I've said some really funny stuff (trust me, I have) and felt it was a crime that few would be able to read everything I've done--so thus began the great journey to collect all my tweets...and to assemble them into a grand volume for everyone to enjoy. There's been some slight modifications in grammar and occasionally a tweet goes over 140 characters now because out of context they didn't make sense. Otherwise, this is everything. So, this is a bunch of words divvied up into 140 character sound bites. That's somewhat of an odd format to be writing anything in, and it wasn't my intent to do something that way. This thing just sort of happened. I found I had an inability to shut the hell up once I started tweeting my way through the Twitter realm.