Without a Map A Memoir

The national best-selling memoir about banishment, reconciliation, and the meaning of family

“This sobering portrayal of a pregnant teen exiled from her small New Hampshire community is a testament to the importance of understanding and even forgiving the people who . . . have made us who we are.”—O, The Oprah Magazine

A New York Times Bestseller, now with a new epilogue from the author

Meredith Hall’s moving but unsentimental memoir begins in 1965, when she becomes pregnant at 16. Shunned by her insular New Hampshire community, she is then kicked out of the house by her mother. Her father and stepmother reluctantly take her in, hiding her before they finally banish her altogether. After giving her baby up for adoption, Hall wanders recklessly through the Middle East, where she survives by selling her possessions and finally her blood. She returns to New England and stitches together a life that encircles her silenced and invisible grief. Her lost son tracks her down when he turns 21, and Hall learns that he grew up in gritty poverty with an abusive father in her own father’s hometown. Their reunion is tender, turbulent, and ultimately redemptive. Hall’s parents never ask for her forgiveness, yet as they age, she offers them her love. Here, loss and betrayal evolve into compassion, and compassion into wisdom.

Meredith Hall’s awards include a two-year literary grant from A Room of Her Own Foundation, a Pushcart Prize and Maine’s Book of the Year award. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Kenyon Review, Good Housekeeping, Five Points and many other journals and anthologies. Her debut novel, Beneficence, was published by David. R. Godine Publishing in 2020. Hall is Professor Emerita in the MFA writing program at the University of New Hampshire, and divides her time between Maine and California.

Prologue:
Shunned

Chapter One:
The Lonely Hunter

Chapter Two:
Waiting

Chapter Three:
Stronghold

Chapter Four:
The Uprising

Chapter Five:
Again

Chapter Six:
Drawing the Line

Chapter Seven:
Without a Map

Chapter Eight:
A River of Light

Chapter Nine:
Double Vision

Chapter Ten:
Killing Chickens

Chapter Eleven:
Threshold

Chapter Twelve:
Propitiation

Chapter Thirteen:
Chimeras

Chapter Fourteen:
Reckonings

Chapter Fifteen:
The River of Forgetting

Chapter Sixteen:
Sojourn

Chapter Seventeen:
Outport Shadows

Epilogue:
Gratitude