A Young Man's Guide to Self-Mastery, Workbook

Stephanie S. Covington, PhD, LCSW, is co-director of the Institute for Relational Development and the Center for Gender and Justice, and has served on the faculties of the University of Southern California and the California School of Professional Psychology. Dr. Covington specializes in the development and implementation of gender-responsive and trauma-informed services.

Roberto Rodriguez, MA, has over 12 years of experience working in intensive outpatient and residential settings in the treatment of substance use disorders. He currently provides trauma-informed interventions, counseling, and individual and family therapy, He is the co-author of Exploring Trauma: A Brief Intervention for Men with Dr. Stephanie Covington.

Introduction to Your Workbook xi

Module A: Myself

1 Welcome, Introductions, and Building Our House 1

This Session 1

Being in a Group 2

Mutual Agreements 3

The Word Cloud 4

Five Senses 6

Reflection 7

Between-Sessions Activity 8

2 A Sense of Self 9

This Session 9

My Place 10

My Place (Variation) 11

Feelings, Beliefs, and Values 12

My Castle (Outside) 14

My Castle (Inside) 15

Reflection 16

Between-Sessions Activity 17

3 A Boy’s World 19

This Session 19

Palms Up, Palms Down 20

Collage of Gender Expectations 22

The Anger Funnel 24

The Container 25

Reflection 27

Between-Sessions Activity 28

4 Introduction to Trauma 31

This Session 31

The Fight-or-Flight Response 32

Breathing 33

Trauma 35

The ACE Questionnaire 38

Other Traumatic Events 40

Trauma Can Shape Our Belief Systems 41

Reflection 43

Between-Sessions Activity 44

Module B: Communication and Connections

5 Communication and Connections 45

This Session 45

Healing Light 45

Living Your Values 46

Barriers to Healthy Connections 48

Other Ways We Communicate 49

Four Communication Styles 52

Practicing Communication Styles 54

Progressive Muscle Relaxation 55

Reflection 56

Between-Sessions Activity 57

6 Abuse and Conflict 59

This Session 59

Square Breathing 59

Abusive Relationships 60

Soothing and Grounding: Self-Mastery Techniques 62

A Physical Grounding Technique 66

The Container 66

Yoga 67

Conflict Resolution: The STARE Technique 67

Reflection 69

Between-Sessions Activity 70

7 Mothers 72

This Session 72

Breathing 72

What Do Mothers Do? 73

My Mom 74

Letter to My Mom 76

Reflection 77

Between-Sessions Activity 78

8 Fathers 80

This Session 80

What Do Fathers Do? 81

My Dad 83

Letter to My Dad 86

Reflection 87

Between-Sessions Activity 88

Module C: Relationships

9 Friendship 89

This Session 89

Power and Relationships 89

Discussion Questions 92

The Relationship Wheel 95

Characteristics of Effective Relationships 96

Reflection 98

Between-Sessions Activity 99

10 Gender and Sexuality 100

This Session 100

Dating and Sexuality 101

Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation 105

Masculinity and Femininity 106

My Ideal Partner 106

Reflection 108

Between-Sessions Activity 109

11 Barriers to Healthy Relationships 110

This Session 110

Teen Equality Wheel 111

Control and Abuse 115

Supportive Relationships 121

Sample Relationship Map 122

Your Relationship Map 124

Ending Relationships 125

Reflection 129

Between-Sessions Activity 130

Module D: Healthy Living

12 Our Bodies 131

This Session 131

Healthy Living Scale 132

Body Image 133

Improving Your Body Image 135

Healthy and Unhealthy Eating 136

Emotional Wellness 139

Expressing Feelings 141

Reflection 143

Between-Sessions Activity 144

13 Dealing with Life as It Happens 145

This Session 145

Understanding Addiction 146

Coping with Stress 148

Spirituality 152

Self-Care (SEEDS) 154

Reflection 155

Between-Sessions Activity 156

14 Endings and Beginnings 158

This Session 158

Healing Masks 159

Decision Making 163

Celebrating One Another 164

Module E: Appendices

Appendix 1. Local Resources (Session Six) 165

Appendix 2. Self-Mastery Techniques: Grounding and Self-Soothing 168

Appendix 3. Yoga Poses (Session Six) 181

Appendix 4. Redefining Gender (Session Ten) 187

Feedback Form 191

About the Authors 193

Additional Publications 194

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