The Dog Ate My Resume Survival Tips for Life

Celebrating a rite of passage for many into adult life, this hilarious book offers tongue-in-cheek observations on making life choices for recent college graduates, their friends and families, and anyone who faces the bewildering questionWhat do I want to do with my life?The father-son writing team offers comical commentary and surprisingly realistic advice on getting a job, choosing a career path, making decisions about living at home or in an apartment, and, above all, crafting an impressive personal update for the alumni magazine. Suggestions address common transitional challenges such as faking a go-getter attitude and determining who willreallygive a good letter of recommendation.

Zack Arnstein recently graduated from college and is working on his resume. Larry Arnstein has written for the television shows Saturday Night Live and Not Necessarily the News, for which he won two Writers Guild of America awards. They both live in Santa Monica, California.

Introduction

8

(1)

Section One: Plundering the Resources at Your College

9

(34)

Not the Introduction

10

(3)

Making Your Major Your Springboard to the Future

13

(2)

The Career Guidance Center: Finding It, or Are You Prepared for the Next Exciting Chapter in Your Life?

15

(4)

Identifying, Finding and Cornering Your Faculty Advisor

19

(2)

Keys to Graduating: Completing Your Course Work and Alternate Suggestions

21

(1)

Job Fairs: Bring Your Own Booze, but in a Plain Brown Bag

21

(1)

Winning Interview Techniques: Developing a Go-Getter Attitude, or at Least Faking One

21

(133)

Staying in School for Advanced Studies: Grad School, or Just Refusing to Leave Your Dorm

154

Resume Do's and Don'ts: A Few Years in Prison for a Felony is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

30

(3)

Letters of Recommendation: 10 Ways to Find Out Who Will Give You a Good One

33

(6)

Surviving Graduation Day: You Are the Future---Stop Slouching

39

(4)

A Few Final Words of Encouragement

42

(1)

Section Two: Leaving College---Your Personal Journey Through Hell

43

(42)

Inspirational Quotes

44

(3)

Prioritizing Your Decision-Making: What is the Meaning of Life, or Where Will I Sleep Tonight?

47

(3)

Navigating and Guiding Your Family Discussions About What You Will Do After College, Including Good Answers to the Big Question---Truthful and Otherwise

50

(7)

Networking (With All Your Slacker Friends)

57

(5)

Your Own Apartment vs. Living at Home: Comparing Apples and Oranges (Both of Which Are Only Available at Home)

62

(8)

Managing Your Finances: How Many Credit Cards is Not Enough?

70

(3)

A Word About Pets (Avoid)

73

(3)

You Don't Have Time to Read This Chapter

76

(1)

Navigating and Guiding Your Family Discussions About What Your Child Will Do After College---A Study Guide for Parents (Students: Skip This at Your Own Risk)

77

(4)

Essential Real World Survivor Skills, or How to Get Selected to Be on The Real World or Survivor

81

(1)

A Tourist's Guide to the Real World: Knowing How You're Doing Without Grades

81

(4)

Section Three: Choosing a Career by Process of Elimination

85

(54)

Career Elimination Exercise

86

(2)

The Military: Getting Accepted into the Military Services is Not That Difficult!

88

(4)

Fabulous Careers, or Careers in Fabulousness

92

Law: You Don't Have to Be a Lawyer to Make a Living Suing Other People!

54

(42)

Careers in Computers: Fatal Error E06#58647 Has Occurred

96

(3)

Education: Long Summer Vacations, Plus the Chance to Make Someone as Miserable as Your Teachers Made You

99

(3)

A Career in Law Enforcement: Do You Have Any Idea How Fast You Were Reading?

102

(4)

Careers in Psychology & Counseling: Hanging Around with People Even More Screwed Up Than You

106

(4)

A Career in Show Business

110

(4)

Starting a Band: Why Not Just Roll Around Naked on Broken Glass?

114

(6)

Professional Sports: Pros and Cons of Leaving College Before You've Completed All Four Years of Remedial Reading

120

(3)

Dream Jobs: Getting Paid for What You Do Anyway

123

(3)

Crime: The Most Lucrative Profession for Which There Are No Formal Requirements

126

(3)

Careers in Religion: Buy 10 More Copies of This Book and Your Sins Are Forgiven

129

(4)

A Career in Editing: Do We Really Need This Chapter?

133

(6)

Mid Term Exam

135

(4)

Section Four: Choosing a Real Job on the Basis of What You Can Actually Get

139

(34)

Not Peaking Too Soon

140

Bartending: Listening to Drunks, but This Time Getting Paid for It

27

(116)

Internships: Why Settle for Underpaid When You Can Be Not Paid at All?

143

(4)

Doing Nothing

147

(4)

Waiting Tables: It's Not Rocket Science, but the Tips are Better

151

(7)

Winning the Lottery: Somebody Has to Win, Why Not You?

158

(3)

Messenger Service: At Least You're Not in Some Office

161

(1)

Begging: Being Your Own Boss While Working Outdoors---It Could Be Worse

161

(3)

Telemarketing: Could Not Be Worse

164

Temp Work: Not So Great, but It's Only Temporary!

118

(48)

The Classifieds: Now You're Desperate

166

(3)

Online Job Searching: You Can Be Humiliated in the Comfort of Your Own Home

169

(2)

Careers in Research: Body Parts You Can Live Without

171

(2)

Section Five: Community Service: If All Else Fails, Help the Needy

173

(8)

The Peace Corps: 10 Diseases You've Never Even Heard Of

174

(1)

AmeriCorps: 10 Lethal Weapons You've Never Heard Of

175

(1)

Making the World a Better Place, or at Least Cleaning Your Apartment

176

(5)

Final Exam

178

(3)

Appendix

181

(7)

Full Life Experience Check List

182

(2)

How to Succeed in Life: Writing Impressive Class Notes for the Alumni Magazine

184

(3)

The Individually Customized, Nondenominationally Specific Holiday Networking Card Template

187

(1)

Index

188

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

FREE SHIPPING

Amazon no longer offers textbook rentals. We do!

The Dog Ate My Resume Survival Tips for Life After College

Summary

Author Biography

Table of Contents

Supplemental Materials