Beyond Your Bubble How to Connect Across the Political Divide, Skills and Strategies for Conversations That Work

As featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, TED Talks, and The Orange County Register, this practical, politically neutral book offers concrete skills for holding meaningful conversations that cut across today's intense political divide, showing readers how to connect to the people in their lives.

Author featured on NPR's All Things Considered and NBC's The Today Show with Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager. Winner of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards for Self-Help

This is a great read for all sides of the political spectrum. Inspired by the author’s experience leading countless workshops to bridge common ground among members of her community, this book shows how we can reach across the divide and bring Americans together, one conversation at a time. 

Political polarization is at an all-time high, and the consequences for our personal relationships are significant. Many people have friends and family members with whom they feel they can no longer communicate because of their extreme political views. In this book, psychologist Tania Israel presents her program for helping people have meaningful, constructive conversations with those they disagree with politically.   

Chapters show readers how to develop and use the scientifically-proven skills that are the foundation of constructive conversation, including strategies for effective listening, managing emotions, and understanding someone else’s perspective, as well as finding common ground, avoiding self-righteousness, and telling your own story. Throughout, conversation prompts, practical exercises, case examples, and self-quizzes help readers visualize and practice starting, sustaining, and ending challenging conversations.

Tania Israel holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and is a Professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Dr. Israel leads dialogue skill-building workshops to help people connect across political differences and teaches about helping skills, leadership, and community collaboration. She has also facilitated educational programs and difficult dialogues on a range of topics, including abortion, law enforcement, religion, and sexual orientation. She lives in Santa Barbara, CA. Visit taniaisrael.com and follow her on Twitter @BtheBdialogue, Facebook facebook.com/BeyondtheBubbleDialogue/, and on Linked In linkedin.com/in/tania-israel-1256aa195/.

Activities You Can Do on Your Own
Acknowledgments
Introduction: The State of Our Union
Moving Beyond Our Bubbles
My Experience With Dialogue
Meet Kevin and Celine
How to Use This Book
Chapter 1. Getting Started: The Basics of Meaningful Dialogue
What Kind of Conversation Are We Talking About?
Dialogue, Discourse, and Debate
What Inspires or Interferes With Dialogue?
Celine and Kevin’s Motivations and Barriers
Two Things to Do
Chapter 2. Preparation for Dialogue
Getting Past Anticipatory Anxiety
Warming Things Up
Invitation to Dialogue
Communication Guidelines
Kevin and Celine Discuss Communication Guidelines
Structuring the Dialogue
Chapter 3. Why Listen?
Learning How to Listen
Nonverbal Attending
Reflecting
Open-Ended Questions
Celine and Kevin Apply Listening Skills
Overcoming Common Blocks to Effective Listening
Celine and Kevin Practice Listening
Final Thoughts on Listening
Chapter 4. Managing Emotions
Fight, Flight, Freeze
Forward
Kevin and Celine Manage Emotions
Deescalating Conflict
Noting the Emergency Exits
Individual Differences in Managing Emotions
Emotion Regulation
Chapter 5. Cultivating Understanding
Distorted Perceptions
Applying a Corrective Lens
Perspective Taking
Learning About Other People
How to Be Righteous Without Being Self-Righteous
Celine and Kevin Demonstrate Cultural Humility
In Sum
Chapter 6. Talking Skills
Do I Finally Get to Speak?
Telling Your Story
Bridging the Divide
Common Ground With Kevin and Celine
Persuasion
Chapter 7. Dialogue Skills in Context
How Invested Are You in the Relationship?
Skillfulness in Dialogue
Distance Between Views
The Politics of Pizza
Identities and Affiliations With Celine and Kevin
Chapter 8. Dialogue Skills in Action
Strengthening Dialogue Skills
Exiting With Intention
Kevin and Celine Say Goodbye
Integrity and Grace
The Power of These Skills
Additional Resources
Communication Guidelines
Activities to Try With a Partner
Index
About the Author

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