The State of Disbelief A therapist’s story of love, death and mourning

A revelatory book about death and mourning by a psychotherapist faced with sudden bereavement

“In this brilliant and deeply moving memoir, Juliet Rosenfeld turns to the writing of Sigmund Freud to help her find her way after unfathomable loss. The State of Disbelief is a beautifully crafted book of extraordinary power: about grief, mourning, and how we can all live more fully every day.” – Will Schwalbe, New York Times bestselling author of The End of Your Life Book Club
 
“I relate deeply to Juliet Rosenfeld’s poignant account of the loss of her beloved. Death, while it awaits us all, remains the last taboo. I applaud Juliet’s ability to fearlessly examine spousal loss and provide a roadmap for others who one day, hope to navigate it with courage and grace.”
– Katie Couric 
 
"Juliet Rosenfeld's tender, wise and lyrical book performs the most imperative and humane function for the reader: it lends them a sense that, for all the pain and confusion of bereavement, some sense of reconciliation and containment will one day be possible, that life will go on alongside death, as the dead would surely always wish for us." – Alain de Botton

When Juliet Rosenfeld's husband dies of lung cancer only seven months into their marriage, everything she has learnt about death as a psychotherapist is turned on its head.

As she attempts to navigate her way through her own devastating experience of loss, Rosenfeld turns to her battered copy of Freud's seminal essay 'Mourning and Melancholia'. Inspired by the distinction Freud draws between the savage trauma of loss that occurs at the moment of death – grief – and the longer, unpredictable evolution of that loss into something that we call mourning, she finds herself dramatically rethinking the commonly held therapeutic idea of 'working through stages of grief'.

This is a beautifully written meditation on what the investment of love means and how to find your own path after bereavement in order for life to continue.

“A beautifully written, profoundly moving and immersive account of grief that will bring solace to readers who have been bereaved, and guide anyone who knows them. Which pretty much means all of us, at some point in our lives.” Louise France, Times

Juliet Rosenfeld read French and Italian at Oxford before working in advertising and briefly in the civil service. She began to retrain as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist 15 years ago. She works in London in private practice and has two sons. This is her first book.