Couples Therapy Homework Planner

The Couples Therapy Homework Planner, Second Edition provides you with an array of ready-to-use, between-session assignments designed to fit virtually every therapeutic mode. This easy-to-use sourcebook features:

• 71 ready-to-copy exercises covering the most common issues encountered by couples in therapy, such as financial conflict, infidelity, work/home role strain, and separation and divorce
• A quick-reference format—the interactive assignments are grouped by behavioral problems including improving communications, handling parenting problems, and resolving sexual issues
• Expert guidance on how and when to make the most efficient use of the exercises
• Assignments are cross-referenced to The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition—so you can quickly identify the right exercise for a given situation or problem
• Downloadable content that contains all the exercises in a word-processing format—allowing you to customize them to suit you and your clients' unique styles and needs

Additional resources in the PracticePlanners^® series:

Treatment Planners cover all the necessary elements for developing formal treatment plans, including detailed problem definitions, long-term goals, short-term objectives, therapeutic interventions, and DSM^TM diagnoses.

Progress Notes Planners contain complete, prewritten progress notes for each presenting problem in the companion Treatment Planners.

For more information on our PracticePlanners^® products, including our full line of Treatment Planners, visit us on the Web at:

www.wiley.com/practiceplanners

GARY M. SCHULTHEIS is a clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist. He maintains a private practice in Evansville, Indiana.

STEFFANIE ALEXANDER O'HANLON is a licensed clinical social worker and photographer. She consults on the use of the narrative arts in healthcare.

BILL O'HANLON has authored or coauthored twenty-nine books and is an inspirational speaker and psychotherapist.

Acknowledgments xiii

Introduction 1

How to Use This Book 2

Assigning Tasks 3

Debriefing 3

SECTION I------Generic Tasks 6

Exercise I.1 Stacking the Deck 9

Exercise I.2 Personal Pep Talk 12

Exercise I.3 Gray Areas 14

Exercise I.4 Love-O-Meter 16

Exercise I.5 Session Preparation 18

Exercise I.6 Feedback Log 20

Exercise I.7 Learning the Language 24

Exercise I.8 Chart Your Course 26

Exercise I.9 Taking Charge of Change 29

Exercise I.10 Unpack Loaded and Vague Words 32

Exercise I.11 Doing Love and Intimacy 36

Exercise I.12 Track the Problems and Solutions 42

Exercise I.13 Identify and Validate Your Partner’s Feelings and Points of View 44

Exercise I.14 Changing Character Indictments to Action Descriptions 47

Exercise I.15 Identify What Has Worked and Do More of That 50

Exercise I.16 Little Things Mean a Lot 53

Exercise I.17 Keep One Eye on the Road 56

Exercise I.18 Time Travel 58

Exercise I.19 What Is Your Map of Love-Land? 61

Exercise I.20 Acknowledgment 64

Exercise I.21 Catch Your Partner Doing Something Right 66

Exercise I.22 Let Your Partner Know What Behaviors You’d Like 69

Exercise I.23 Just the Facts, Ma’am 71

Exercise I.24 Map the Problem 73

Exercise I.25 Breaking Patterns 76

Exercise I.26 Don’t Get Even, Get Odd 78

Exercise I.27 Change the Context 82

Exercise I.28 Negotiating Impasses 85

Exercise I.29 Go Ape 87

Exercise I.30 Letter to the Problem 90

Exercise I.31 Going Postal Instead of Going Postal 92

Exercise I.32 Lighten Your Load 95

Exercise I.33 Can Do! 97

Exercise I.34 Plant a Tree 99

SECTION II------Generic Issues/Values Conflicts for Couples 101

Exercise II.1 Timeout Handout 102

Exercise II.2 Anger Log 104

Exercise II.3 Setting Boundaries 106

Exercise II.4 Biodots 109

Exercise II.5 Breathing 111

Exercise II.6 Let’s Get Physical 113

Exercise II.7 Value Your Differences 115

Exercise II.8 Accountability 117

Exercise II.9 Restoring Trust and Faith When One Partner Has Betrayed the Relationship 119

Exercise II.10 Inequities 121

Exercise II.11 Feeling Responsible: Who Initiates Things That Need to Be Done 124

Exercise II.12 Intimacy 127

Exercise II.13 Styles of and Motivation for Arguing 129

Exercise II.14 Forgiveness 131

Exercise II.15 Money/Financial Conflicts 134

Exercise II.16 A Common Destination 137

Exercise II.17 Negotiating Socializing Preference Differences 139

Exercise II.18 Creating a Mission 142

SECTION III------Specific Problem Areas for Couples 144

Exercise III.1 Chronic or Unproductive Arguments 145

Exercise III.2 Verbal Abuse 148

Exercise III.3 Boxing Clutter to a TKO 151

Exercise III.4 Separating Work from Home Life 153

Exercise III.5 Planned Spontaneity 155

Exercise III.6 A Safe Place for the Traumatic Memories 158

Exercise III.7 Chronic Lateness from Work 160

Exercise III.8 Set Limits with Consequences 163

Sexual Issues and Problems 165

Exercise III.9 Mix ‘ n’ Match Sexual Menu for Expanding Your Sex Life 166

Exercise III.10 Pleasure Teaching Session 168

Exercise III.11 Dealing with Impotence 170

Exercise III.12 Help for Premature Ejaculation 172

Exercise III.13 Initiation Week 174

Exercise III.14 Lightening Up about Sexuality and Weight Gain 176

Exercise III.15 A Night to Remember 178

Family, Stepfamily, and Parenting Problems 180

Exercise III.16 Wrestling with the Challenging Task of Parenting 181

Exercise III.17 In-Law Problems 184

Exercise III.18 Get a Roommate 187

Exercise III.19 Circle the Wagons 190

SECTION IV------Reproducible Forms and Brochures 192

Suggestions for Making Conversations More Productive 192

Movies about Couples 194

An Appreciative Interview to Celebrate the Anniversary of Your Marriage 201

Interview with My Valentine 203

Appreciative Inquiry Interview Protocol: Life-Giving Relationships 204

Guidelines for Couples’ Communication 206

How to Solve Relationship Problems 208

Creating or Renewing Intimacy 209

Pocket Emergency Guidelines 211

Getting Over an Affair 213

Dealing with a Partner or Spouse with a Chemical Abuse Problem 215

Preventing or Dealing with Violence in a Relationship 218

Solving Sexual Problems 220

Train Your Therapist 223

Relationship Rescue: Ten Methods for Resolving Relationship Crises 225

Dealing with the Death of a Child 228

Generic Assignment Form 229

References 231

About the Downloadable Assignments 233

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.